I'll Have the Medium ... Or is that the Small?

We’ve all heard the evils of fast food.  Too much fat and the wrong kind of fat.  Too many calories.  Too many carbohydrates.  Too much sodium.  Not enough nutritional value.  The list could go on and on.  It seems like every week the facts from “a new study” are released to tell us of another reason to avoid fast food.  Yet fast food is a (probably) trillion dollar industry!

Today at lunch I think I found the REAL REASON people will (finally) stop eating fast food!  It’s called “Product Size and Ordering Confusion” … yes, I named it that, but once everyone tells us the reason they stopped eating fast food I think this title will stick!

I believe, (and I’m not proud of this), that I have as much or more fast food ordering experience as anyone.  “Yes, I’ll have the Chicken Enchurito, no onions”.  “Yes, I’ll have the fish sandwich, minus the tarter sauce, minus the cheese, add Big Mac sauce”.  “Yes, I’ll have the Shrimp Taco, no salsa, light on the cabbage”.  You get the idea.  But it seems that no matter how much ordering experience I have, I just can’t seem to get the “sizing thing” right for any it!

What ever happened to just plain old small, medium and large?  “I want a small.”  “We don’t have small – we have medium, large and super size.”  “So wouldn’t the medium be small?”  “No, it’s medium, we don’t have small.”  But then you get your medium, which is the size of a large, but it’s really a small – which is a medium!

I went to Arby’s recently.  I ordered the SMALL Roast Beef Combo.  “Would you like to medium or large size that?”   I wanted the SMALL – but since small is really medium (or is it medium is really small – oh never mind!).  Since I wanted the SMALL I said, “I’ll do medium”.  I then drive up to the window and the gal hands me a SUPER SIZED Diet Pepsi.  I said, “oh that’s not mine, I ordered the medium.”  “This is the medium”.  “I thought I ordered SMALL, but said medium because I thought that was the small”.  “No, you ordered the medium size combo of the SMALL Roast Beef.”  “Yes, that’s what I wanted, the SMALL.”  “But you ordered the medium”.   “No, I ordered the SMALL, but said medium because … oh, never mind … I think I’m getting old”.  She didn’t VERBALLY agree with me … but the expression on her face said it all!!!

I noticed on my last trip to Del Taco that they offer small, medium and large sizes.  I was pretty thirsty that day, but I figured a small Diet Pepsi would be enough … after all, the small is really a medium … right?  Well, apparently NOT at Del Taco.  I got a Diet Pepsi in a cup the size of which I haven’t seen in 25 years!  It was SMALL … really SMALL … like child-size SMALL … which 25 years ago would have been the medium … or maybe the large!

Small should be small!  Medium should be medium!  Large should be large!  If we need larger than large then, okay, go with the extra-large!  Someone needs to decide this – where is government regulation when we REALLY need it?

Today I ordered a medium Diet Pepsi and the guy gave it to me in a 32 oz. size cup.  In what universe is 32 ounces ever considered a medium?  I THOUGHT I was getting the small, which one would normally get by ordering the medium … right?  I kept my mouth shut - but now I'll never know if I got the medium, or if they accidently gave me a large!  Oh I’m so confused!